IRD

I have a disorder. The medical community doesn’t recognize it yet, but it’s only a matter of time. It’s an epidemic really. Spreading like fire across the plains of women nationwide. It’s called Insatiable Romantic’s Disorder or IRD for short. I am plagued by it everyday. This disorder is especially cruel because it affects the sufferer and loved ones near the victim.

            No matter how hard a boyfriend, husband, or admirer tries, a woman with IRD will never be satisfied. The boyfriend could surprise the girlfriend at work, whisk her away with a picnic lunch, and eat together in the park. A regular woman would swoon at this lavish gesture. But a woman who suffers from IRD wouldn’t even notice. She would be too concerned with why he doesn’t do this sort of thing more often. Never mind that he also has a job and their schedules rarely intersect; her thirst for romance cannot be met. He can’t even make time in his everyday to pack a healthy balanced lunch for two, drive sixteen miles across town during his half hour lunch break, and have a meal with his alleged “one and only”? They might as well not even be together if he can’t find time to be with her. A husband can rollover in the morning, fresh from waking, and whisper in his darling’s ear “This is my favorite time of day. I feel like I’m still dreaming, being next to you every morning. You make my day, everyday. I love you” HE EVEN ADDED “EVERDAY”!!! What more could you ask for? Nothing, right? Wrong! Why isn’t every time you are with him his favorite time of day? Why would he compare you to a dream, because he won’t remember you in a couple of hours? Jerk!

            If the reactions in the previous situations sound reasonable in anyway, you may be have Insatiable Romantic’s Disorder. If you hear a love song on the radio and think to yourself “Bill would never write something like this for me. His song didn’t even have a catchy chorus. Shmuck…” you may have IRD. Do not panic. You are not alone, and there is a treatment.

            People with IRD should avoid watching all Julia Roberts movies (no matter how tempting they may be). They should not expose themselves to the unattainable “Prince Charming” ideal. He is not real. There is no one who is always going to able to fulfill your every desire, all the time. Get it out of your head. If you don’t, you will just be disappointed.* Take your man for what and who he is. Accept him. Appreciate the little things he does for you like clean up the mess in the living room that he made so that you don’t have to, call you when he goes grocery shopping to see if you need anything, or take the kids to school so you can sleep in an extra hour. It may not seem like a lot, but he is going out of his way so that you can have the better half of the bargain. To men, this feels like a huge effort and when it goes unnoticed, it can be quite a let down. Thank him for having you in mind. Thank yourself for being reasonable and accepting. And thank me, because I like praise.

* This remark is not to be taken as advice to settle. Do not be with someone just to avoid being alone. It’s not fair to your partner or to you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, and who you want to make happy. If that is not your situation, then you need to move on until you find it. He’s not for you.