I could not wait to get home from work today. The feeling is not new, no, far from it. I cannot wait to get home from work everyday. But today was special. This morning, before I left for work, I kissed my sleeping boyfriend goodbye. This is routine for me. But today, he stirred as I bent down over the bed. I told him I was leaving and kissed his cheek goodbye. As I backed up to leave, I heard his tender voice "wait, one more". I kissed him again. "One more please" he lulled. I kissed him yet again and backed away. "Wait, just one more" I giggled a bit and kissed him one last time, but on the lips.

I spent my short shift (only 4 hours) daydreaming about the wonderful man I have at home. He's the kind of man that buys you a flower named Emily. He's the kind of man that will let you warm your feet under him when they are cold. He is the kind of man that will call said feet "foofs" or "foofers" or "foofies" just because you do. He's the kind of man a girl can fall in love with. He's the man this girl fell in love with. Oh I've had crushes before, and admittedly, I've thought I was in love. But no, nothing compares to this feeling. The feeling of wanting what's best for another person instead of yourself. The feeling of butterflies every time they look at you or speak your name. Being able to overlook their flaws, and even embrace them and grow to love them. This was a new feeling, and one that I do not want to give up.

But I digress.

I could not wait to get home from work today. So when the clock struck 10, I was gone. I rushed home with domestically romantic fantasies flashing in my head. "Maybe he did the dishes. Maybe he cleaned the living room. Maybe he was still in bed, waiting to cuddle." My mind raced. I opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch. I shouted "Hi Stephen!" with a bit too much enthusiasm, I'll admit. It took me a second to register his expression. It was one of pure shock with a hint of... what is that? Ah yes, it's the undeniable look of guilt. The look you have when you have been doing something wrong and have just been discovered. But why? My ideal man can do no wrong. I look around the room to see what could cause such an expression. Then I see it. Right in front of me. It was there the whole time. I am slammed with a mixture of emotions. Pain. Betrayal. Sadness. Deceit. Disgust? A hint of jealousy? Both yes.

My world is spinning. I don't know what to do. I look back at my beloved Stephen and just ask "how could you?” Before he responds, I hurry to the bedroom and remove my uniform. I get ready for the shower that I was going to ask him to join. Now, I will be taking it alone. I grab my towel and rush with my head down to the bathroom. I can't even look at him right now. As I am turning on the water-extra hot, just how he hates it- I hear him call from the other room "you weren't supposed to walk in on me like this!"

I don't reply. I can't reply. My thoughts are going too fast. How could he do this to me? I wasn't supposed to walk in on him? What’s that supposed to mean? That if I didn’t catch him, he would have lied and pretended nothing happened? That's WAY worse! How dare he do this? How could he do this? How could he watch New Moon without me?

I got in the shower, and tried to wash away the pain. To no avail.